so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
