why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
