She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
