You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
