Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
