Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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