...so i touched it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
ok first of all what the fuck
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize