Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
