like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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