Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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