lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
