I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
