fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Randomize
