Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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