Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
