In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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