So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
