If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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