I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
