Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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