so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
