You're a womanizer and a bitch.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
