She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
