No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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