I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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