I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
