On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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