He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
