YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
