i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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