whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
