...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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