At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
