Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
