i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
