thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
