The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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