Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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