i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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