I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
