new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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