so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize