Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
