so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
