Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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