these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
