Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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