No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize