It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
