The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
