im about as happy as oj after his trial
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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