Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
