the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
