I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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