If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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