Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
