im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
