ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize