we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
