so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
