honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
