haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
