Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i out mim tonsoeep
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