all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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