just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You're breaking my sexual little heart
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize